Snippet: Inner Demons

"Bloody hell!" Silver exclaimed somewhere above him. "Josh?"

Josh didn't want to face him. He could only imagine how he must look like all cried out. Blotchy face, red eyes. Not an attractive look at all and certainly not how he wanted Silver to see him. Whatever Silver saw, Damian eventually found out, and Josh didn't want Damian to worry about him anymore. "Please don't tell Damian."

"Josh …" Silver was suddenly on the floor next to Josh's head, which he lifted up to rest on his lap. "Why don't you want me to tell Damian?" Silver's hand brushed a few locks of hair away from Josh's cheek, which had stuck there from the tears.

"I've been doing so good. I don't want him to worry. He has so much to do, with the foundation training … he's getting somewhere and I'm not." That's what it felt like, anyway. He might have just finished his B.Sc. in Psychology, after having studied part-time because he was too broken to be able to study full-time like any sane person did. Having a bachelor's degree in Psychology did not mean he understood his own psyche any easier though.

"He worries about you because he cares, Josh," Silver murmured. "Because he loves you."

"He's never been able to focus solely on his studies because of me."

"Doesn't matter, does it? Damian's so bloody smart. He gets top grades even if he isn't spending all his time studying at the library." Silver's hand started carding though Josh's hair, massaging his scalp gently, and it felt good and relaxing. "If anything, you've been helping him."

"Yeah, right." Josh couldn't help the undignified snort at that. "How in the world have I been helping him? I've just given him a heck of a lot to worry about besides his education."

"You've been helping him with his people skills. Before he met you, Damian didn't really have any people skills. He's doing a lot better with people now, after you two hooked up."

Josh looked up at Silver. "He could do so much better than me."

"No, he really couldn't." Silver shook his head resolutely. "Hate to tell you, but you're it for him."